Why Am I Here Again?
by GracingOctober
Summary: Re-write! A psychologist in training joins her older brother in an all male prison known as Allenville State Male Prison to help train for college and research. But...what if after a while...she doesn't want to leave? Language...


**Okay, so I've finally decided to redo a Longest Yard story, since I've found my love for the movie after watching five times in a row like I used to. :D I am listening to it now as I type. :3**

**Characters belong to the rightful owners and actors. I don't know if I'm going to make this an 'M' later on or not, but there's definitely going to be some language in here.**

**I do not own The Longest Yard 2005 remake. That belongs to Peter Segal.**

**:D ENJOY! :DD**

_How did I let you talk me into this?_

The drive to her new job was, to say the least, boring. There was nothing to notice about the scenery besides the occasional bush or cactus. Maybe even cattle. But that was it. Ponytailed dark brown hair scratched slightly at the back of a young woman's pale neck, forcing said young woman into habit and used her bandaged right hand to slide it across her shoulder so it would rest against her collarbone.

Rock music was blaring from the speakers at a comfortable volume, not to the point where she thought her ears would bleed and could feel her brain vibrate in rhythm to the bass. No, it was a comfortable volume, just loud enough for her to sing along with the songs she wanted to sing along with while barely hearing herself.

A gray messenger bag sat in the front passenger seat, holding the essentials for her work and online college. The young woman's deep green eyes quickly tore from the road in front of her deep blue Toyota Camry that she had received as a –late- birthday present from her parents to her bag. It was decorated with dark gray and black slashes and symbols. She had ordered the bag when she was younger from her favorite site and paid for it herself. Well, as close as you can get when you pay your mother the money to buy it, as compensation.

She knew what was inside. In the back part there was a cushioned pocket like area, where should would keep her binders and books when she was younger but now held a wide but thin Dell Inspiron laptop. It held many files and documents and, like her car, was a deep blue. It had a few stickers on the front, some with witty sayings and other with pictures or names of bands she liked. And there were a couple random ones, of course.

The second area of the bag, the one closer up front and was the area where she held her papers that she deemed not important any longer when she was younger now held files and papers that were important.

The zipper that was clearly visible on the flap of the bag that held a bananza of pencils and pens (and sometimes the occasional pack of fruity gum) when she was younger now held, well, more organized pencils and pens. She smiled at the thought. Some habits never die, since she knew there was a pack of Trident Layers in there.

Her went back to the road where she knew she wasn't expecting anything. What could you hit out here? 'Worst case scenario, a small cactus. But oh oh! What's that? Another cactus! What a surprise!' She thought, rolling her eyes. The song that was previously on had faded out and a song she did know came on. It just so happened she was in the mood to sing along with this one. But of course, it wasn't a rock song this time, but it was just as good. It actually had a meaning.

_Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?  
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?  
When they know they're your heart  
And you know you were their armor  
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'her  
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?  
And everything you stand for, turns on you to spite you?  
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?  
"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane  
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"  
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy  
Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself  
I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself  
Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her  
And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her  
That's Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy  
Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocka-by-baby..._

_And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn  
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice  
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling  
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain  
Just smile back  
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn  
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice  
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling  
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain  
Just smile back..._

_I keep having this dream, I'm pushin' Hailie on the swing  
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing  
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"  
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying  
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time  
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"  
She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it  
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"  
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket  
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it withcha'"  
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror  
These fuckin' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em  
They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight  
Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late  
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door  
It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on  
And I'm singing..._

_And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn  
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice  
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling  
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain  
Just smile back  
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn  
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice  
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling  
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain  
Just smile back..._

_Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat  
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet  
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out  
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd  
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing  
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding,"  
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?  
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'  
"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad  
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'  
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin  
"I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are going"  
But baby wait, "it's too late Dad, you made the choice  
"Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"  
That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep.. screamin' your name  
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill  
Yeah, I bet you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, k-keep it real  
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see  
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me  
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it  
Put it to my brain and scream "die Shady" and pop it  
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes  
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'  
It's Spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk right up to Kim and kiss her  
Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister  
Almost as if to say.._

_And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn  
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice  
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling  
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain  
Just smile back  
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn  
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice  
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling  
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain  
Just smile back..._

Yes, this song showed that it had an intimate meaning. Her voice had risen whenever his had risen, and she spat out the words to the imaginary crowd whenever his did. And damn everyone to hell if they doubted that she loved this song. She loved songs that held a meaning, a purpose.

The song switched to another one that she knew, coincidentally enough. And once again was Eminem.

_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down..._

_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers_

_I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure  
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders  
I ain't never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it  
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter  
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to  
I'm supposed to set an example  
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em  
If some shit ever does pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em  
That Ja shit I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it  
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it  
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it  
It was crazy, this shit went way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit  
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it  
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted  
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it  
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it  
That was never my object for someone to get killed  
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build  
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good  
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' Suge  
And that was just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth  
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about  
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef  
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth  
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life  
Like fuck it i understand this is business  
And this shit just isn't none of my business  
But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cause_

_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers_

_There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme  
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'  
But now it's elevated cause once you put someone's kids in it  
The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?  
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'  
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'  
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him  
And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him  
Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how we stabbed him  
Fuck it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em and let him have it  
Meanwhile my attention is pullin' in other directions  
Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk  
Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his resurrection  
Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record  
But now he's fucked the game up cause one of the ways I came up  
Was through that publication the same one that made me famous  
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'  
Well fuck it, that motherfucker can get it too, fuck him then  
But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think  
That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc.  
And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind  
We still have soldiers that's on the front line  
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders  
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us  
We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus  
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is  
To have Runyan Avenue, soldiers up in our corners  
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is  
But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered  
It ain't worth it, I can't think of a perfecter way to word it  
Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the verdict  
I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further  
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'  
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man  
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at the jaws, well then I can  
Cause frankly I'm sick of talkin'  
I'm not gonna let someone else's coffin rest on my conscience cause_

_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers_

Eminem's "Like Toy Soldiers" faded out from the speakers. "Stupid Girl" by Cold came on. Sure, she liked this song as well, but turned down the offer of singing along simply for the fact that she could see a building coming into the distance. It was a towering building, of course. And she immediately knew what it was.

Allenville State Male Prison. Her new "Home" and the hell-hole she was to study people for psychological research. Her laptop was her classroom for the online college she was going to. Of course, soon she would have to go to the building portion, but she had to do work here. As long as her brother Nathan was there to keep her company, she wouldn't really mind it much, she reminded herself.

And Nathan better keep the dickwads at bay, both inmates and guards alike. She remembered some stories that he told her. A couple of years back, the Guards and Cons had a football match against eachother and the cons won by a touchdown, by infamous Paul Crewe himself. Of course, Nathan wasn't there at the time of the game, but had heard of it from the other guards and read about it.

She drove up to the gates, 'Apparently the color blue isn't too uncommon here' she thought. All the better. She could hear the trunk which held her more personal things (clothes, toiletries, cards from friends, ect.) roll around with the turn she made to slide through the gates. A man in a uniform came up and signaled her to roll down her window. He had really light hair and a small moustache that was located maybe a little too close to his upper lip. He had a small smile on his face and his name tag read "Englehart, David".

She rolled down the window. "Good afternoon, ma'am. I take it you're Ms. Mercer? Our doctor?"

She smiled. "Oh no, I'm not a doctor. I'm here for a job while I'm in college. Haven't graduated yet. But in a sense, yes. I'm your psychologist."

He kept his smile, surprisingly maintaining excellent eye contact. "Well, I take it you're Nathan's little sister?"

She nodded. "You would be correct, sir." She actually liked this guy. He wasn't looking at her breasts.

"Well, Ms. Mercer, I'm going to have to instruct you to take keep moving forward and take the first right turn. That's where our employees park. Have a nice day!" He instructed. She returned the farewell with a bright "You too!" and replayed the instructions in her mind.

After taking the right, she saw the one person she was looking forward to seeing. Standing right in the middle of the parking lot. 'Like the dork he always was and always will be in my eyes.' She thought. There was her brother, Nathan, literally standing in the middle of the small parking lot, pointing enthusiastically to an empty parking space, his short brown hair only waving slightly in the wind. He had their father's eyes, which were a light but warm blue. She laughed to herself at his antics and pulled in smoothly.


End file.
